"Jeeves, we appear to be in the soup.." - Bertram Wooster

Blog the fifth, John Charles Blaise Larkin A.R.C.M , the 9th Earl of Rowchester, 4th Lieutenant upon Her Majesty's Ship "The Intense Trench"

Okay my computer is now gone, the network adapter wont connect the the drivers so thats the internet screwed, none of my programmes will work, the start button won't appear. The Reich has fallen. All hail the people's hero Zhukov. All hail Stalin. All Hail the glorious virus revolution.

Right now this is being transmitted from a bunker on another computer. I fear I may need to either detonate a nuclear bomb within my computer or buy a new one. So yeah, for those of you still reading don't be expecting many blogs from here on out.

In other news:

Professor John Larkin of the Merde de Bull University has finally perfected his mathematical equation:

BOUNCING CASTLE + VODKA = DIZZINESS AND FUN(NOT)

and back to school tomorrow except I am still feeling like a sack of kittens that have been hit with a lump hammer.

Lump hammer? that just reminded me that when i was 8 I walked into a store and bought a lump hammer...WHY WAS NO ONE SURPRISED AT THIS...Good God society today.

So in my historical studies this week I was learning about Trotsky:

SO IN RUSSIA THERE WAS LIKE THIS BADASS REVOLUTION

MANY DIED.

GUY CALLED LENIN WAS LIKE " K Gs WE GUN BE ROLLIN ROUND BEIN ALL LIKE "COMMUNISM FOR THE WIN" AND THEY'RE GUNA AGREE OR DIE"

AND TROTSKY WAS LIKE " ILL FORM UP THE ARMY AND MAKE THEM ALL BADASS FOR OUR BADASS ANTICS SO WE CAN BE THE APOTHEOSIS OF BADASSERY"

OH AND THEN STALIN THREW AN AXE IN HIS FACE IN MEXICO

THE END.

betcha didn't see that coming

oh man, Also watched "American Psycho" while I was sick. that movies sliiiiccck.

talk to you-

Jack

The Nature of the beneficial was bound to act thus. - Marcus Aurelius

Blog the Fourth, John Charles Blaise Larkin, The 10th Earl of Rowchester, A.R.C.M, Acting Lieutenant of Her Majesty's Ship "The INTENSE TRENCH"


So there I was right Monday; after 3 p.m; Sick. Worst sore throat I have suffered in quite some time, and many other maladies so woeful it would upset my stomach to scribe them down here. how did this arise? Let me dear reader give you an account of my voyage last night:

Twas 3 A.M when the gong was struck.

And that young Jack buck still awake in his bed.
for (like many nights past) in between a book lay his head.

Emperor Marcus Aurelius it was.
Delivering a nugget of knowledge in each clause.
But noticed his reader was not appreciating his written word & laws.

The Emperor of forgotten ages
Rose up from the pages
and after many a fit of rages shouted:

"YO G GET SOME SLEEP OR EAT LEAD"

Brave Jack smirked, he smiled.
He could not be beguiled

"JUST A SEC MARCUS DAWG I R GUN GET SOMETHING TO EAT YO"

Jack did run.
Toward the stair.
leading down to the food lair.

Jack did trip.
And Jack did fall.
And his head bounced down the steps like a ball.

-By John (Jack) Larkin

SEE! FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS CAN BE TOLD GRACEFULLY!


Oh and thank you my new followers Micki and Leah that made my day :D

Any other news this week:

Tuesday, Thursday and Friday = Rehearsals for a play I'm in (Could I sound less gay?) and partay whoop :0 and then back to skool :/

anyway thanks for reading yo'

My character and good name are in my own keeping. Life with disgrace is dreadful. A glorious death is to be envied.

Blog the Third, Midshipman John Charles Blaise Larkin, 10th Earl of Rowchester A.R.C.M.

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Valentines Day Report:

- Roused in my quarters at 3 p.m

- Stared at myself in the mirror for an hour

- Shower

- Breakfast

- Read "Atlas Shrugged"

- Bed by 7 p.m

- Comments: A horrible day by all accounts.

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So there I was right: lazy weekend in full swing, no school for the week as it was a mid-term break. Therefore, as a friend aptly put it "Fuck the Recession, bring on the RE-SESSION." So in stoic preparation for the eventful week ahead I did a good bit of the old thinking process today. Read up on this epic British Admiral called Horatio Nelson. He was a pretty cool guy yo' let me explain to you what he did;

France is all like "WE BE ROLLIN' ROUND THE CONTINENT EXPANDING OUR HOOD YO'"

But the U.K was all like "YO G, NO TYRANNY IN MAH EMPIRE BORDERS! >:0"

France had basically no idea who they were screwing with because there was this guy in the hood called Napoleon (think he joined G-UNIT after the war) who crowned himself emperor of france and thought he could do anything. Eventually Spain allies with France the declaration went like this. But then Nelson burst onto the scene and was like "TALLY HO OLD CHAPS, WE OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE DEMAND SATISFACTION, SHIP DUEL AT DAWN"

and beat them at Cape Traflagar at Spain but died on site. But Napoleon was all like "hmm maybe i should just go East and invade russia" PROTIP: NEVER INVADE RUSSIA

History Buff right here yo'

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Barrack Obama is a pretty cool guy

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False Face must hide what False Heart doth know.

Blog the Second, John Charles Blaise Larkin, 10th Earl of Rowchester, A.R.C.M

Think I'm well overdoing this blogging thing, sort of addictive but I guess people new to it just post one day after day until they accumulate followers after which they post weekly blogs making their followers hang on every word. Then they turn East, divide into three and invade Russia.

Anyway, Friday night 12:56 A.M and I'm just back from a party a mate of mine was having. The alcohol was non-existent, the music dismal, the girls men. The actual men reclined on couches for most of the night being false to one another and and indulging in other stereotypically feminine traits.. Swear to God there was actual a sort of disappointed look on my mother's face when I got home and she smelt my breath (We DON'T get to ground you? Tsk.)

Not exactly sure what underage drinking is like in other countries but in Ireland its pretty much the cornerstone of establishing your night out. I'm 16, in 4th year in school, work is basically optional (I'll probably regret all these assertions months later, word from the wise; teachers are nosy tards on the internet) so I like to take quite a few nights out, I don't drink spirits pretty much because any experience with them that I've had is bad (and it's hard for a guy to determine which spirits are in fact "ULTRA MACHO AND AWESOME" and "something a girl would drink).

Thought of the now: Valentines Day, haven't got a Valentine. Apparently Wezz (disco in Dublin in Ireland) is on but like I wouldn't be drinking (drunk Wezz= amazing, sober Wezz= somewhat crap). But I've got to take my mind off the basic fact that

a) Haven't got a girlfriend, and it's Valentines Day

b) all my best mates have significant others and shall be indulging their every whim for the day and having a good time basically

c) I'm posting my problems in a blog on the internet :/.

Apparently Field Marshal Erwin Rommel solved his Valentine's day problem by kicking the crap out of the British in North Africa for a while in. Macbeth destroyed Scotland over his sore lack of love (lady Macbeth being a total W.M.D basically) and Batman went into super moody Dark knight mode when Rachel dies. now all 3 of these dudes where pretty cool guys (cept for the fact that Rommel was a bit of a Nazi) and uh...I've lost the point of what I was going to say...i just wanted to say batman, field marshal and scotland I guess.

I think I'll just go on a massive run and try to get fit again.

On the internet side of the sphere I started following a few blogs today. Thinking about maybe starting a Vlog, we'll see how blogging goes first.

Anyway, talk to you bye

P.S I've talked about alcohol s good bit in this, uh I'm not an alco do not presume me to be one, i just enjoy a drink

Can't title this.

We sat there a while.

Wondering what to do.

Two differents missing the same.

Missing you.



our name?

I & I






missing I.

One should always be a gentlemen - Jesus Christ

Blog the First. John (Jack) Charles Blaise Larkin, the 10th Earl of Rowchester, A.R.C.M.

So there I was basically fucked. (excuse the profanity but oh my God) Wednesday february 11th 2009 10:51 p.m.

Academics = totalled.
Love Life= totalled.
Friends= totalled (one thinks I'm a sociopath)
The finances= totalled
My phone, my computer, iPod= broken, broken, cracked screen (totalled)
The Parents: refer to finances.

How did this happen to me? Damned if I know, it was all going well. handsome, 5 As in my state exams, a Summer of love behind me, a year of inter-continental trips (with the best school in Ireland), drunkeness, random debauchery, a new grand piano and moving into a house with my big brother lay ahead of me. What could go wrong? Like i said damned if I know, but it did. The trips are regulated beyond belief (communist china doesn't sound so fun people) , the drunkeness did NOT go well, the random debauchery never happened, the new grand piano did but all I can play now is depressing Chopin, and in the house with the brother ain't half as fun with the Rents dropping in sweeping the floor with nite-lights, and Kevlar vests on.

Biggest problem? I got really angry this year, no reason, maybe it was all just pent up but I've pissed off a lot of close people. I've been an insensitive prick, and right now I'm lonely.

.
So what does Muggins here decide to do? He sets up a blog. and that wasn't even my original idea. I had to copy the idea off a friend.

Oh yeah, this isn't some emo cry of surrender or anything. Relax. You can feel cool reading this blog. I was like you once.

But basically if I've learned something from life, you can't mess around securing the flanks, you have to head straight for the objective and reap the spoils basically. In the words of Shakespeare (who was a pretty clever guy basically) "And dangers are to me indifferent"

So yeah, I don't know who you are, or if you enjoyed reading this.
But this is where I clean up. This when life gets good again

- Jack